I would like to publish this last post of 2010 before starting to restore for the evening tonight. It seems strange to think that another year is over, the 2010 was too fast, lively and has brought many new features. One of these is the blog that, starting in February, was the beginning of a series of changes. In fact, I feel much changed, I also changed my goals, especially since I fulfilled my own evolution. And I noticed a very short, when I tried to summarize the year that will end in a few hours.
I do not know why, but 2010 is special for me. It will be because it is a round number, and I like a lot, or because it is the year that marked a clear separation between the "old me" and the "new me". In fact, I started to really open their eyes and see the world as it is, I started to question me about my surroundings and what might happen. I begin to have a clear vision of my future and also of my past. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong and what should change. All this thanks to the people I met, I see every day, they taught me to live and that helped me to shed light on what is confusing.
I think that until a few months ago my life and my way of thinking of things were separate and ambiguous, chaotic and deformed. A fundamental element of the order I'm doing is the practical life, that makes me deal with situations and I am really living the reality, or at least, the fact that I can afford at this age.
I also think that the image of me that goes through the blogosphere and the internet is not so true. I'm trying to resize it a bit 'to show that what goes on is not the whole, but only a part. For me, photographs, video, what I write, are the frames of my life that slowly recover and try to decipher and understand as well as take. It is not easy but I think it is the fundamental route and best that I can take hours.
Understand what you are is not something that happens quickly. For me it's one of my new goals, and I can not neglect it. My "essence", so to define, is emerging from a kind of ignorance that surrounded her. It includes several things that I tried to classify: my family, my health, my relationships, time. More ignorance goes, the more I understand what they are. It 's like traveling in the fog and slowly realizing that you can see the landscape around us.
I believe that each of us is equal to another, being combined by the same elements but in different order. In these elements are making me feel more and more and cause me concern that torment me and worries me. For some of you will not be so easy to understand this concept, because it is a fairly complex. For example, homosexuality. (It is almost hard to write). I wish anyone to experience the fears that I have not lived. Diseases, violence, abuse and discrimination. But I do not want to fall into cliché. I try to be healthy would be the best solution to relieve all my problems. Or the weight obsession that would define more than fear. Apparently superficial, it is an obsession that haunts me. As may be satisfactory to achieve perfection? What you are willing to sacrifice to achieve their ideal? You are ready to give up something to make their wishes? The perfect weight is my desire. This is linked to the discourse on the image. Without it we would not be anyone. Everything starts from the image. Mathematically speaking, is equal to the Point of Perfection, which is equal to the Image. Perfection is the Image.
The Image is taking me to crush me. Maybe find myself means to submit to what will happen. That does not mean letting go, but rather to accept any idea that I impose.
This ricerca affannosa ed estenuante mi porta a pensare che eliminare qualche cosa di superficiale mi farà bene. Persone di troppo, sentimenti inutili, legami dolorosi, via.
Il blog è anche di troppo. Ma ormai sarebbe eliminare anche una parte di me. Lo metterò solo da parte proprio come ho fatto in questi mesi.
Spero di aver passato il mio messaggio nel migliore dei modi. Non valutate un'altra persona solo per la sua apparenza. Dietro ognuno di noi c'è un mondo infinito e misterioso che non conosciamo e a cui spesso non dobbiamo interessarci.
Auguri per un felice 2011 a tutti.
Riccardo
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